Mack Region Final: (1) Brent Barry vs. (2) Shawn Bradley

We continue with the Regional final matchups as we head back to the promise land of Mack, OH for this clash of white men. One made his money with aerial attacks, while the other's claim to fame was getting aerial attacked on. The winner heads off to beautiful Farmer City, Illinois to take on the winner of the Richmond, VA Region between Bryant Reeves and Kyle Korver. Just like the 1st round, votes should be based off of ability to play fundamentally sound basketball, goofiness, upside, and most importantly, token white boy swag. A poll will open up on the right hand column for the next seven days. At the end of the week, the player with more votes obviously moves one step closer to the title.


Brent Barry
(click name for highlight video)
College: Oregon St.
Years in League: 1995-2009
Teams: Clippers, Bulls, Heat, Supersonics, Spurs, Rockets

In case you were ignorant enough to not view the above highlight video, please do it. For all you skeptics, Brent is in fact 100% Caucasian and could jump across the Grand Canyon. The fact he won the dunking contest makes him a God of whites, but let's not forget that much like every other decent white man to ever grace the league, Brent could make it purr from long range. Barry defied any and every stereotype about white players with his high flying slams and Pistol Pete Maravich-esque dish outs. I'd go so far as to say Brent may have had too much swag on the court. Off the court...well let's just say his woman is finer than Eva Longoria (just ask Tony Parker). Needless to say, Brent Barry shrines are rampant in Mack. All in all, Brent will always be remembered as the man who played a little role reversal and broke the color barrier for whites to participate in aerial activity in the NBA. All hail!


Shawn Bradley
(click name for highlight video)
College: BYU
Years in League: 1993-2005
Teams: 76ers, Nets, Mavericks

Adjectives used to describe Shawn Bradley: gigantic, bitch, white. The 2nd overall pick in the 1993 draft, Bradley will always be remembered as a poster boy for white players. Measuring in at 7'6" watching him play was nothing short of comedy. While the above highlight video provides a glimpse into that aspect, Shawn also was practically a human fly swatter. Among some of his whitest attributes, Bradley attended Brigham Young University and lists his favorite movie as Dances with the Wolves. As far as swag, nothing does wonders for this quite like a star role in the greatest movie of all-time, Space Jam. While sure people are quick to label Bradley as one of the biggest busts in the history of sports, white men near and far will never be ashamed to salute our gentle giant of a brother.

Mack Region: (2) Shawn Bradley vs. (3) Scot Pollard

Our 2nd matchup in the Mack, OH regional is a clash of two white oafs. The winner will advance to the final of the Midwest Region (where they will inevitably lose to Brent Barry). We remind you the votes should be based off of ability to play fundamentally sound basketball, goofiness, upside, and most importantly, token white boy swag. A poll will open up on the right hand column for the next seven days. At the end of the week, the player with more votes obviously moves one step closer to the title.


Shawn Bradley
(click name for highlight video)
College: BYU
Years in League: 1993-2005
Teams: 76ers, Nets, Mavericks

Adjectives used to describe Shawn Bradley: gigantic, bitch, white. The 2nd overall pick in the 1993 draft, Bradley will always be remembered as a poster boy for white players. Measuring in at 7'6" watching him play was nothing short of comedy. While the above highlight video provides a glimpse into that aspect, Shawn also was practically a human fly swatter. Among some of his whitest attributes, Bradley attended Brigham Young University and lists his favorite movie as Dances with the Wolves. As far as swag, nothing does wonders for this quite like a star role in the greatest movie of all-time, Space Jam. While sure people are quick to label Bradley as one of the biggest busts in the history of sports, white men near and far will never be ashamed to salute our gentle giant of a brother.


Scot Pollard
(click name for highlight)
College: Kansas
Years in League: 1997-2008
Teams: Pistons, Kings, Pacers, Cavaliers, Celtics

Known for his rebounding and hairstyles, this Utah born big man is as white as they come. His strengths on the court include grabbing boards and then immediately passing it out before he does anything stupid. Nicknamed "Samurai Scot" while playing for the Kings, Pollard grew out countless different hairstyles including a mohawk and double ponytails, which he often complimented with a handlebar mustache and long sideburns. This earned him numerous comparisons to a white Dennis Rodman. He also enjoyed breaking out obscure jersey numbers, including number 66 with the Celtics because "the NBA wouldn't let me wear three sixes." He is also remembered for his positive influence on young children who watched him play. One thing we constantly give credit for in this tournament is a players ability to stand out. John Stockton wore short shorts with pride. Keith Van Horn brought back the high socks and Brent Barry had his black man hops. Now its time to give credit to a white man with ridiculous hair. Vote Pollard.