Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Merry Strasmas...Among Other Things

It's time to do my thing, and with so much going on in the world of sports, heck why not just let fly like Raymond from 3? Although my frequent trips away from the cozy confines of Mack, Ohio have certainly hamstringed my ability to be on my usual A-Game in regards to brushing up on what's going on in the wide world of "sports, norts," as the legendary Kevin McCallister once said, "I'll give it a whirl." (note: the following entry will have nothing to do with Easy Mac) If what I have typed thus far has you fairly to partly flustered, normality is about to set in, so bear with me now.


First on the agenda, Major League Baseball. As the trade deadline approaches, it's time to separate the men from the boys. This year's deadline seems unusually quiet as big names like Cliff Lee and Dan Haren have already been dealt, and while Roy Oswalt and Adam Dunn still remain on the market, at least for the Red's sake, it appears they, as well as their competition heading down the stretch, will stick with what they've got to make a push into October...probably a run-on, but we press on. Along with the Redlegs, the San Diego (I think that's German for something if I'm not mistaken) Padres continue to amaze. I'm pretty sure everybody and their mothers saw this squad as the cellar dwellers of the league. After losing Hoffman and Peavy, it was quite difficult to find a recognizable name on the roster, but thanks in large part to the league's #1 pitching, and great success away from Petco Park, the Padres now look like the team to beat in the National League.


After an offensive deluge in Milwaukee to close out the series, the Reds are still rolling. The obvious concern moving forward is whether or not PED-free Edinson Volquez will get his shit together here soon. The bullpen is getting the job done, and it's hard to find faults in one of the league's top offenses (although you might not know it after they suffered a league leading 12th shutout last Sunday), so getting the starting rotation all ironed out is perhaps the key to the Reds' postseason hopes. Unfortunately I was out of town for the Strasmas festivities last Wednesday. For all our illiterate readers out there, I am of course refering to the phenomena that was Stephen Strasburg on the bump against the Reds. Bob Castellini really muffed it bad by making it one of the "Straight A Ticket" games in which top notch students like myself were treated to free tickets for the game. Who would have thought a Wednesday night game in mid July against the Nationals would have become what it did? The first weekday sellout at Great American since 2006; many of whom were coming to pay homage to the rookie sensation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this guy is the real deal and will be dominant in the league for years to come.

Speaking of pitching, Matt Garza's no hitter Monday night marked the 5th such occurrence this year, not to mention dos perfect games, in what has become regarded as the "year of the pitcher." After further review, I prefer steroids and long balls. It's humorous glancing back to the 90's and seeing some of the absurd numbers guys were putting up while juicing. My favorite such instance, of course, being Brady Anderson's 50 bombs in 1996, more than double his HR total from any other season. But heck, after seeing what Jose Batista is doing this year in the HR category, maybe Brady was more legit than we thought (sike).


To the NFL we go. I'm going to be brief about this whole T.O. business because KFW will be supplying the Mack is Berning faithful with in depth coverage shortly on the condition of the Bengals, and you need to look no further than here to see what I think about T.O. in the Nasti. Bottom line: it's gonna be wild. Can't ask for much more as a Cincinnati sports fan; Reds and Bengals both doin work. Lastly, let's talk a little Dez Bryant for a moment. In case you don't remember, I'm not exactly all aboard the Dez Bryant bangwagon. This bum doesn't even have the composure to submit himself to some rookie hazing after he told Roy Williams to (figuratively) stick it when asked to carry the seasoned vets pads. The Messiah came over 2000 years ago Dez, don't flatter yourself. Have fun sucking in the big D as a Cowboy for years to come. In the meantime, I hear Car-X is advertisitng a limited time offer on attitude adjustments, so maybe you can stop by. That's all I got. Burnside, gone.

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